And so we have no idea what’s really going on in the world in which our characters now inhabit (I mean come on! One group is in Canadia looking for a Taco Bell (as of yet) another group is stranded between an off-yellow ocean and a teddy graham spitting army while the other is completely lost both physically and mentally) though things are coming along in the development that is this ‘plot.’

Now where was I... oh yes! And so we’ll start this chapter with the group of Josh, Angie, and Greg the lemur.

"What’s going to happen to us? There’s too much of this off-yellow stuff and my wall of burritos won’t hold off those guys for much longer," Josh said.

"Ooo eee ooo aaa aaa ching chang walla walla bing bang," Greg said.

"I know you love me Greg and I love you too but right now isn’t the time," Angie said. She was looking along the cliffs on which they now stood for something that might help them.

"What’re those?" Josh said pointing some way down the cliff.

"They look like purple people."

"Who’d want to be a purple person? That sounds sick and wrong."

So they did cartwheels over to the ‘purple people’ until they arrived at where the newfound distractions from their quest were standing.

"Hello! I’m Homestar-" Josh began.

"Hi! I’m Angie, this is Greg the lemur, and the pile of boy curled into the fetal position over there is Josh! Ummm... Might I ask what you’re doing?"

"Hello. My name is Steve Cox, leader of the purple people from the halls of the Mesa-"

"Halls of Mesa," the rest of the purple people said in unison as if it were a sacred name.

"And we’re here to unceremoniously kick, shove, poke, nudge, trip, and whatever else we can think of to get these Swedish turkeys here into that ocean of Italian dressing." Steve smiled.

"Right... are you sane?" Angie asked.

"I’m as sane as the holy beast allows," Steve smiled.

And so they did watch as the purple people did every dirty trick they could come up with to get the turkeys into the raging Italian dressing below.

"And now for the king of these turkeys," Steve grinned maliciously.

"Gobble?" the turkey said (turkeys aren’t very bright (they’re so dim that... well yeah). So the turkey did run after its compatriots into the delicious dressing below.

"What was the point of that whole thing?" Josh asked (he’d gotten back up from quivering in pain (Angie is one tough chick)) Steve.

"The holy animal has long had a feud with their kind and wished them basted in his favorite dressing for his favorite meal. You see, the holy animal is a vegetarian but still wished to devour the essence of these fowl beasts. So I proposed that they be added to this most tasty of dressings," Jacob, another purple person, answered.

"What is the ‘holy animal’ of which you speak?" Greg asked.

"It is the almighty rabbit of which we speak," Steve said bowing his head.

"Coughcrazycough," Josh giggled.

"Gonzuntight."

"Have either of you noticed that our story hasn’t had much of a point yet?" April asked as they strolled (which Jordleforge has quite a knack for) through the streets of Mexico City.

"I still have no idea what you’re talking about but whatever," Jordfroiblen answered.

"That’s because... you’re right! Hey Mr. Author! Could you spice up our part of the plot please? This is getting really boring!" Hunter yelled.

And with that Dark Link appeared to challenge Minime to a duel to the death (or last remaining piece of heart, whichever came first).

Dark Link charged at him with a thrust that sent shock waves smashing everything in it’s path but Hunter knew the games far too well and had already dodged to the side and came in with a slice, knocking a whole heart from Dark Link’s meter.

"I’ll take you down Mr. Dark Link!" Hunter said.

"Knil Rm. nwod uoy ekat ll’I," Dark Link replied. And with that the dark creature came at Hunter swinging. He struck Hunter in the side and took a heart with him. Attack after attack they fought, usually missing from the other person’s skill to dodge. Finally each was down to a single heart and the annoying beep had come on.

"This is a hard battle," Hunter breathed. "Its really different to fight with my body instead of a controller."

With that they attacked for all their might. Hunter lost.

"Ow," he managed to squeak before he fell to the ground dead.

"Hunter!" April screamed. Then a fairy appeared and circled about Minime until his heart meter was full again.

"I love that trick!" he laughed. Hunter then charged at Dark link swinging. Then it was all over and Dark Link fell to the ground dead. His body disappeared and left a note in its place (play a Zelda game) along with the song that Link gets whenever an important item is found (play a Zelda game).

"You’re a cheater," Jordbeanhead snarled (he then proceeded to cry like a baby (you should see Canadia cry because the guy has biceps like... I don’t know but they’re huge!)).

"You’re just mad that I beat the opponent that I challenged."

And now what to do with this story... I’ve lost most of my motivation for this story at the moment but being such an annoyingly persistent person that I am, I refuse to stop writing right now since this story occupies the time that I can’t fill any other way.

"Man, this trip is getting really boring without us getting into any fights or interesting conversations," Kim said slumping forward while riding on Kyle’s back (he was in moose form (I know what you’re thinking you sicko!)).

"Well, we could always invoke the right to annoy the writer until he does something for our story line like he just did for Hunter," Ben said. "I wonder if he’d help me conquer the world..."

"Would you get off that kick?"

"Never! I will not rest until I conquer the world... ooo a nice looking pillow!" Ben said falling to the ground asleep.

"Not very motivated is he?" Kim giggled.

"That’s Ben for you," Kyle answered (sorry that this whole story is getting boring and less random but I’m seriously out of ideas right now so I wish that I could start out fresh but I’m soo out of it).

"Oh! I know how you could make this story more random! You could start adding random characters from nowhere like Josh did in chapter two by bringing Ben, Kim, and April into the story!" Kyle suggested.

(I’m not too sure that’ll work at this point in the story but why not! I’ll give it a try! Who do you want to add to the story?)

"Um... could we add in another girl to this group?" Kyle smiled innocently.

"What, am I not cute enough for you anymore?" Kim growled.

"Never! You’re the cutest girl on Earth Kim but maybe if we added another cute girl from another world..." Kyle tried to cover his booty.

"Oh. Sure! You just want another girl to flirt with since you don’t like me!" Kim cried.

To this, there is no answer to make in order to not socially kill yourself so Kyle didn’t respond.

"Fine, don’t answer me! I know you don’t like me you jerk!"

So now we turn to Josh’s group again (this is getting a little old going from group to group so maybe I’ll add all the people into one single group with my powers as the writer).

"Hey! Don’t you dare ruin our happy little family! I like being in a group with just Greg and Angie!" Josh yelled into the air.

"Well, what’s going to happen in our little adventure now anyways?" Angie asked rolling her eyes (not in the kind of ‘whatever’ kind of way but the ‘whatever’ kind of... wait a minute! She’s bored of the story taking so long and frankly so am I! That’s it! I’m going to make this story take a whole new perspective (what else is new? All I’ve been doing is adding random stuff)).

All of a sudden an army of sloth surrounds Josh, Angie, and Greg (mind you, they’re high-speed sloth for all you who know your sloth physiology (did you know that the plural term for sloth is sloth and not sloths? I find that fascinatingly pointless so there’s my $.025 for this paragraph)). They were (um... what sounds do sloth make? I mean, how often do you actually hear a sloth growl or moo or whatever?) making some random noise that sounded menacing so our heroes stood together back to back to back (there are three of them) ready to attack or quiver in fear depending on who it was (Angie was ready to beat some booty and Greg was summoning his allies but Josh was trying to pull of the testosterone face (you know, the snarl look that is supposed to intimidate people but only makes them want to laugh a little more than (Hey! I just realized that I got back my inspiration (congratulations Sherlock! Took you long enough to realize it)) if they sat there and soiled their pants instead of trying to look tough).

"We come for you three," a sloth said (that’s gotta be creepy. Hearing a sloth talk to you).

"And what if we won’t come?" Josh asks making fisticuffs.

"Then we’ll give you swirlies in freshly used toilets!" another sloth howls with laughter (a laughing sloth is not a laughing matter).

"Not without a fight!" Josh answers.

"Very well then," a huge sloth answers, coming out of the crowd to face Josh.

"Alright. Lets do this," Josh says assuming the lazy lemur stance of the lemur style of Kung Foop.

And now to add more drama, we’ll take you away from this enthralling battle to return you to Hunter, Jordafrickingmess, and April.

"We’re getting closer to our destination," Hunter said after smelling the ground.

"How can you tell?" April asked impressed.

"Well, there’s a sign up there that says, ‘you’re getting closer’ so I’m taking it as a sign that we’re getting closer," Hunter smiled with pride.

"That’s not what it says!" Jordghorben accused.

"Yes it is. Its not my fault that you can’t read," Hunter chuckled.

"Leave me alone," Canadia cried (I’m getting a little sick of changing his name every time so from now on I’m going to just call him Canadia from now on).

"So what direction now? And what exactly are we looking for anyways?" Canadia asked.

"We’re looking for something menacingly evil." Hunter said.

"Did you know that you’ve got really pointy ears?" April said smiling at the back of Hunter’s head.

"Um... yeah. Link is supposed to have pointy ears. That’s kind of what his character looks like," Minime answered.

"I think pointy ears are really hot," April said dreamily.

"Okay."

And so begins a twisted version of what the true Link from the Zelda games has to go through with ever girl in the games. Now let us take this time to laugh because this is totally a figment of my imagination and I have no idea how April really feels towards Hunter or vise versa. But since this world is under my control right now, we’re making this a silly game of ‘cat and mouse’ only the mouse doesn’t know he’s getting chased (meow).

"What’s that?" Canadia yells.

"What’s what?" Minime asks back.

"That thing up in the sky!"

"Is it a bird? A plane? No you overly obsessed people who only know of a few things that’re capable of flying while forgetting that I (Kyle Jones (the real one)) am the one writing this ridiculous story and that nothing as to make any more sense than I want it too so its neither a bird, nor a plane and I don’t feel like going against AOL Time Warner right now (since they’re a mega corporation) but saying its Superman. So here’s what it really is!" So says the author of this particular part.

"No you nincompoops! It’s the guy we’ve come to battle against! Its Goku the legendary Super Saiyan!" Hunter says unsheathing the Master sword.

"I’ve come to battle you Freeza!" Goku yells down at Canadia and the others.

"What’re you talking about?"

"Oh, sorry! Wrong episode! There’s just been so many that I’ve lost count."

"What do you want from us Mr. Big hair?"

"Big hair? BIG HAIR! NOBODY MAKES FUN OF MY HAIR AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!" His eyes turned white and sparks came out of his body. An aura started to glow around his body. First it was a deep scarlet then changed to a majestic gold. His black hair became bleached gold and his eyes turned a deep green

"Wow, your hair got bigger."

"STOP MAKING FUN OF MY HAIR!" With that his hair stood on end and his muscles bulged even larger than before (they were big to begin with).

"Wow, now its pointy and your pecks look like moobs (man boobs)."

"DON’T YOU DARE MAKE FUN OF MY HAIR AGAIN!"

He screamed again and his hair lengthened, his forehead extended and sucked in his eyebrows. And again, his muscles grew even larger.

"I’ll take you down!"

"And yet again his hair grows even longer and now he doesn’t even have eyebrows this time."

"What a big hair."

"AHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Goku screamed. His body produced so much force that it knocked everybody over and ripped the leaves off the trees. Tornados started to form around him and were ripping everything to pieces.

"He’s loud too."

Suddenly Goku stopped doing anything and fell to the ground asleep. His hair turned black again and his muscles resumed their smaller size.

"That was rather pointless."

"Pretty much but it told me a lot." Hunter said.

"What’s that?" April asked.

"Not to let my hair get the best of me."

"Good because you need a hair cut big hair."

"BIG HAIR! HOW DARE YOU MOCK MY HAIR!" Hunter yelled. His clothers turned a deep scarlet and then stopped.

"Whoa, that’s sweet compared to that green crap you had on before," April laughed.

"Sweet! Now I deal double damage with the red tunic on!"

"Whatever floats your boat," Canadia grumbled.

"Are you done yelling at me or what?" Kyle asked.

"Jerk."

So they kept walking into the woods of Canadia looking for a Taco Bell where they could replenish their tummies.

"Kim, what exactly did Kyle do anyways?" Ben asked after waking up from his prolonged nap that he spent being dragged behind Kyle.

"He wanted another girl to come into our story so he could flirt with her since he doesn’t like me," Kim grumbled.

"I wouldn’t mind another girl along for the ride," Ben yawned.

"WHAT! ARE YOU SAYING I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?" Kim yelled. The forest shook from her yell.

"Um... no?"

And so there would be no more conversation among the group until such a time as Kim was happy (which isn’t easy to do according to The Rule Book® (see Kyle’s other published works)). So they kept trudging through the forest in search of a sanctuary (Taco Bell, Pizza Hut (which is WAY better than Domino’s (hi Heather)), and KFC).

"Are we there yet?" Ben groaned.

"Yes," Kyle said. And there it stood before them, the impressive fortress that was Pizza Hut (a trade franchise in league with Taco Bell so it was a good place (in case you weren’t paying attention earlier in the story or forgot like I did (even though I wrote it))).

"Sweet! I want a taco!" Kim said with glee.

"Wrong store Kim."

"I’m not talking to you!"

And so they entered the threshold and walked unto the counter to place their orders for food.

"Yeah I want a large pizza with everything on it and extra tuna," Ben said to the girl at the register. "And your phone number." He added trying to sound suave.

"Your pizza will be ready in twenty minutes and my phone number is not for you. Sorry!" the girl smirked evilly.

"Hi! I want a large thin crust with pepperonis and mushrooms," Kyle said (after turning back into a human).

"That’ll be ready in twenty minutes and my phone number is on this napkin," she smiled sweetly to Kyle. "My name is Becca and I get off work in an hour," she added.

"Yeah I want a thing of bread sticks," Kim growled contemptuously.

"Alright. That should be ready in a few minutes," Becca smiled.

And so they did wait and Kim glared angrily at Kyle as he looked at the napkin Becca had given him.

"Do you think I could have that?" Ben asked.

"I don’t know, she gave this to me and didn’t want to give you her number. I think I’ll call her sometime. She’s kinda cute." Kyle was looking over at register.

Kim snarled.

There they stood, poised to attack the other. Josh was ready for the worst; the sloth was poised to kill.

"How should we do this?" Josh asked still in his stance for fighting a sloth.

"I was thinking a wrestling match," the sloth said.

"I can do that," Josh smiled.

"Fine!"

They yelled in unison, "One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war!" And they did proceed to wrestle ferociously, though the sloth had an advantage with his massive double-jointed thumb, which gave him greater range in the fight.

"You have the skills of a sloth!"

"You’re not too bad yourself! But I will win!"

"I’m afraid that’s where you’re wrong!" And with that, Josh’s thumb got pinned.

So they accepted Josh’s defeat and went with the sloth army to their master, Tiffany, the queen of all things sloth & of a few other things...

"What do you want from us?" Josh asked.

"Silence fool or I’ll make you silent!" Tiffany bellowed.

"Wow, you’re not like any Tiffany I know. The Tiffany I know is like a motherly person." Josh said.

"Well I’ve been changed. I once was the Tiffany you knew and loved but I’m no longer that girl. Now I am the queen of all thing sloth!" Tiffany howled with mad laughter.

"I used to know you Tiffany. You used to be one of my best friends. What went wrong?" Angie asked.

"I told you. I’ve been changed. Ever since that fateful day when I went to Del Taco with them, nothing’s been the same."

"Whom’re you talking about?"

"The others that’ve been tainted by Del Taco. We were changed there. We became more yet less. We’re no longer the people we were."

"Why would you betray that which is good? Why would you abandon Taco of the Bell for something so pathetic as the unspeakable place?" Angie cried.

"We had no choice. We were forced into it."

"We’ve got to save you and everybody else!" Josh and Angie yelled together.

And so they did struggle against the sloth that were holding them until they heard hoots of rage coming from outside. "It’s the lemur army come to rescue us!"

And there commenced a fight between the army of menacing sloth of impending apocaliptic catastrophe and the lemur army representing all things that are good. The fighting was a brutal trial of thumb wars between the two armies, neither side making a dent in the other because each was evenly matched at the most deadly art that is ‘side winder’ thumb tactics that takes minutes too learn. And so the ferocious battle continued until the lemurs, with their awesome ability to use their tales in the fight, conquered the army of imposing sloth.

"Tiffany, your army has been defeated! You are conquered and now we declare that you must be good for the continuation of this quest!" Josh said.

"Okay. I reject the dark Mexican fast food restaurant forever and vow to serve all things good. My sloth army will fight alongside you."

So Tiffany joined them on their continued quest for Japan (Josh got another girl! How unfair! I’ve got Kim whose totally mad at me still so how is this fair? (Well, Tiffany is in love with Richard who’ll be joining us soon as another evil character so no worries! (I still want somebody whose not mad with me (you’ve always got that Becca chick. She’s cute)))).

"Man, everybody else is getting new characters. Why can’t we get more people added to our group?" April asked. She wanted another guy added to flirt with (even though she’s madly in love with Hunter in this story (whether its true in real life or not)).

"Well then, fight me!" Nadene said. She appeared out of nowhere and began to womp seriously bad on everyone around her. Hunter was pummeled into an apple sized thing and April ended up with really big boo-boos all over her body. Then it was down to Canadia.

"You’re a girl! I can’t fight you."

"Well tough cookies cause I’m gonna give you a beat down like only your daddy could give!"

"You’re not my daddy and you’ll never be him!"

The began to make odd sounds that you hear out of old kung foo movies and walked around in a circle always facing one another. "I’ll make you hurt little man!" Nadene leapt into the air (camera spin out of Matrix) and kicked Jordelfeflorben in the jaw to no avail.

"Is that the best you got little girl?" Canadia laughed.

"Not even close. I’ll bring you down if it’s the last thing I do!" She started to attack him so fast that it was really really fast and there were zoom lines all around her (you know, the lines streaking like when a cartoon character is going really fast) and eventually she had hit Canadia so much that he started to hurt. Boo-boos the size of girl fists were appearing all over him (for good reasons) and he started to falter.

So in the end Nadene had beaten them all senseless and she stood atop Canadia laughing madly. "I’m the winner! Nobody could beat me!"

She kept laughing into the night and well into the next morning before her voice gave out. "Man, this is kinda boring. I want to try something new. I’m joining the good guys." So she helped bandage our heroes and joined them on their quest (anticlimactic but I liked it so :P on you!).

"Pizza is good munchins. Now if only I could use it to take over the world!" Ben said putting his pinkie to his lips like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers. "Muwahahahahahahaha!!!"

"You’re not normal dude," Kyle said stuffing another slice of pizza into his mouth.

"Is there anything else I could get for you?" Becca asked smiling at Kyle and ignoring everybody else.

"I could use a few more napkins and your phone number," Ben smiled innocently.

"Here are the napkins and still no."

"I would like you to leave please." Kim snarled.

"It’s a free country and I like being around Kyle," Becca sneered at Kim.

"I bet they’re going to get into a cat fight over you," Ben whispered to Kyle.

"I heard that," Kim growled.

"You’re awfully testy today Kim."

"Who asked you!"

"I think she’s going to bite somebody’s head off," Becca giggled.

"Please don’t hurt me," Ben cried.

And so Kim did proceed to walk out the door. "We should probably follow her. She’s not helpless but she’s still our friend."

"You go ahead. I think I’ll stay here for a while," Ben said staring at Becca.

"Don’t be too long. We’ve still got our quest to complete." With that Kyle walked out the door and followed after Kim. "Kim! Wait up!"

"Why should I wait for a girl crazed jerk like you?"

"That’s a little harsh. Its not like I asked her to hit on me."

"Not like you stopped her either!" Kim yelled.

"Sheesh, I’m sorry. Why’re you getting so edgy about this anyways?"

"Because I’m jealous I guess..."

"Jealous... of me?"

"I like you alright! I like you and I was jealous that you wanted somebody to flirt with and you got that out of that girl!"

"Wow."

(To all of you reading this, there is no proof that any of this is true in the least but I’ll keep dreaming)

"Wow. Wow? Is that all you can say? You jerk!" Kim yelled and stomped further into the woods.

"Women." Chapter VI: There once was no point to continue this story but now its starting to develop something along the lines of a plot so here we go again and not for the last time since I intend to keep this going until such a time as I’m no longer alive which won’t be for quite a while because I have no intention of dying (I’m healing!) this early on in my life.

"So what’re we going to do now Josh?" Tiffany asked.

"Same thing we do all the time! Try to find a Taco Bell!" Josh cackled madly.

"He’s serious. We’re going to find something to eat then be idiots," Angie groaned.

"Sounds like fun!"

So this group isn’t doing anything productive though they should continue on their quest for Japan (which they’ve still yet to reach) to discover the source of Greg’s dream.

"Are we there yet?" Josh asked.

"You’re the one leading! You should know!"

"Like I can tell the difference between where I am and where I should be! But that’s not important right now. We must defeat the evil that plagues street corners in most U.S. cities!"

"Bums?"

"No! Del Taco! It must be destroyed!"

(Now, this chapter was supposed to be written by Josh but I’m getting really impatient so Kyle (the only true author of this most outrageous questing of quests that lacks in all reason (why do you think that this is being put on The Scroll?)) is going to take over and restore some creativity to this seemingly lost cause (that’s most of this story so this is now officially my work so back the crap off (Sorry for using a bad word all you crazy people who don’t like the word crap (once again, sorry))

"Why don’t we just destroy something easier? Like... that tree over there?" Tiffany asked.

"Because the entire purpose of this story is to destroy the evil that plagues our lives. Besides, that tree looks pretty tough to beat."

"Oh yeah? My friends the sloth army! Come to me!" A menacing sloth army of impending apocalyptic catastrophe rampaged towards us at mock sloth sleeps that would leave most beasts tired from moving so slowly and so we continue on. The sloth army began to beat unrelentingly against the tree they deemed their enemy. Their massive double jointed thumbs fought against the seemingly unmovable branches until the tree fell to shards of wood.

"What did that prove?" Angie picked up a branch and broke it in half.

"That my army can defeat anyone it declares its enemy. So, who wants a piece of me?" Tiffany snarled.

"Um... we’ve gotten past the whole ‘fight the good guys’ thing Tiff. We’re now on the ‘fight the bad guys’ kick," the lead sloth said tapping Tiffany on the shoulder.

"Oh yeah!" Tiffany said looking forgetfully into the air.

"You’ve got a short atten... Ooo a penny!" Josh said running forward and grabbing for the ground. A flutter of dust surrounded Josh and shielded him from our view. "Hey! What’s going on! Where’s my penny?"

Josh was being taken away by a net that suspended him inches above the ground. He clawed for the ground screaming in anger. "My penny!"

"And he says I’ve got a short attention span?" Tiffany said running for him. Josh was being taken away by a truck (where that came out of I have no idea. Come to think of it, I have no idea where they are presently in this story but we’ll just go with the idea that our current heroes are stuck somewhere between suburbia and Japan. Yeah, that’ll work)