And so as a group (meaning that there were so many people that I don’t feel like naming them off (even though I should anyways)) they did proceed to walk (that’s right, at the first sight of girls they gained physical strength (its incredible how girls can make guys stronger just by being around them. I mean, ever seen an arm wrestling contest? When a girl isn’t present it’s usually not that incredible of an ordeal but when a girl is around WATCH OUT! The testosterone emanating from the guys is enough to drown a male grizzly (who has a LOT more testosterone than normal human men)) to the Taco of the Bell.

Now the perilous trek did take them past the treacherous homes of the Del Taco’ers, who were the archenemies of all things Taco Bell. And while passing them, they were wary of the evil that plagued the land (seriously, I mean have you ever compared a Del Taco burrito to a Taco Bell burrito? Taco Bell is SO much better; Del Taco is just a lame attempt at making competition with Taco Bell but they’ll never win cause Taco Bell is the best stuff and Del Taco is just cheap imitation (besides, Taco Bell is incorporated with Pizza Hut and KFC and we all know that Pizza Hut is WAY better than Dominoes and KFC is far superior to either Churches or Popeye’s so we won’t even go there)) for they wanted not to be contaminated by the patheticness that was imitation fast food.

And so they did come to Taco Bell to consume of the munchifacations they desired to feast upon. But the windows were blocked by pictographs of some sort that was unfamiliar to the company present. So they looked closely to see if they could interpret it.

"Anybody have a clue as to what it means?" Minime asked. Silence answered (well, no actual words answered him but all the guys made odd sounds like "duhhhhhh…." Or "Gaaaaa" (which are two very different words in the language of grunt. "Duhhhhhh" translates into something along the lines of, "I have never come across such a working of symbols yet it appears to be familiar in some way. I suppose that if I had enough time or if my stomach wasn’t growling I might be able to figure out the complexly woven script to dissolve it’s meaning." While "Gaaaaa" means, "I dunno. I’m hungry so let us go into the building and partake of their goods so that our hungers might be satisfied.") while the girls said in their own language, "I think it says that they’re going to close."

"Nah couldn’t be. I mean, why would they ever close a Taco Bell? They’re great food and they make tons of money!" Kyle protested. (Of course I, the writer (who has to try and edit the crap that Josh (my so called co-author) inflicted on the story (the characters are all dumb except for himself (that’s just not right since Josh isn’t any smarter than a bag of dry roasted peanuts (ewy))) by changing the physics of the world that these characters exist within. The Narrator isn’t supposed to be talking with the characters and Ivan was supposed to be left at home (for the safety of all other characters in the story) and so much more was supposed to happen but since I’m too lazy to try and fix it, I’ll just banish Ivan to his house where he’ll remain until I decide otherwise (Josh, you stop bringing him into the story). Now where was I... ah yes!)

"Well, that is written in English and since I did actually manage to stay awake in my English class, I can read. That sign says, ‘closing.’ And if you really want to argue with me, I’ll bounch your head off!" Kim smirked.

"You actually stayed awake through an hour of school? What’s your secret?" Jordelionfishendorfur asked (the Canadian zonks out all the time (come to think of it, he only ever does two things, talk about sex/cars and sleep (eating is one of those things that happens while doing either))).

"I have self control," Kim smiled with pride. "Well, sort of."

"Uh Kim? Did you say ‘bounch’ a minute ago? Where did you come up with that one?" Josh asked.

"Don’t ask dumb questions or I’ll bounch you good!" Kim snarled (to which all the guys blushed and looked away from the cute girl (alright, I used the word ‘cute’ in the story but frankly, Josh is stealing jokes from other places and not being original (moocher))).

"Kim, I have to admit that bounch isn’t the right word to be using. I don’t think they know our language yet," Angie countered.

"Dohithickagloibenheimerjohnsongibbersnotnosedlittlepunksgetoffmylawnorshuffleboardwillythe
groundskeeperispittinginthegravywithtoastdoubledeei’mscaredtharahwhatcorndidicrackshablickneecaps
ofdoomcomeforusrunforyourgallstonesthatpummelethemoronwhodoesn’tgethathiswholelifewasajokesolets
topbickeringaboutwhograbbedwhoandgetitonyoudorkssyphilis!" Kyle yelled.

For several minutes following Kyle’s remark nobody knew how to respond. The chirping of crickets was the only sound anyone could hear.

"That just about said it all Kyle. So lets get something to eat," Minime said. To this there was much gladness (they hadn’t eaten anything for hours and for bummish types its not good to go a few minutes without food).

And so they did enter the Taco Bell and found it empty (which is not a good thing but its needed to progress the story line since this is where a major turning point is about to whack (we’re sorry. The person that had been typing was just knocked out because he was going to spoil the story by telling you that whack (yet again, we apologize))) save for the staff who were all drunk.

"What’s going on here?" Ben asked. "Where are all the customers?"

"We don’t have any customers," the register boy said in a Beetle like accent. "Everyone’s gone to Del Taco for some reason."

"We can’t have that! Its cheap wannabe Taco Bell food without any ties to any other forms of fast food! I won’t stand for this!" Ben yelled then immediately dropped to the ground on his hinny (did I just say ‘hinny??’ What kind of sissy word is ‘hinny!?’).

"I agree with Ben, though I don’t feel like dropping onto my toukas at the moment. We must do something about it!" Kyle declared slamming his fist into his palm. "Oww!"

"Oh, did the poor little baby get a boo-boo?" Josh laughed. "You want someone to kiss it all bedur?"

"Shusheth thee." Kyle sobbed.

"I’ll kiss it better," Kim said (Kyle getting kissed = yay for him!).

"Not fair! I want a kiss from Kim," Josh whined.

"Well too bad cause you were being a bully," Kim snarled.

"Hey Kim, why do you keep snarling like that?" Jordenglorphendoghe asked.

"I dunno. I guess because the writers keep making me." (Hey, since when was Kim aware that she was in a story?).

"We’re getting off track. We need to find out why people’ve given up Taco Bell. We must for the Taco of the Bell!" Minime proclaimed.

"Hey, would you guys stop talking? You’re giving me a headache," an employee groaned.

"Oh suck it up. Now, let us go to the forbidden place," Josh said with determination.

"You mean the girl’s bathroom?" Kyle asked.

"No, that’s the holy place. Besides, you’ve been in a girl’s bathroom before. I’m talking about... Del Taco," Josh whimpered (just thinking about it caused him to soil himself, he’s now officially branded a weirdo).

"Well then Robins, to the Batmobile," Ben yelled as he ran towards the door (he’s delusional).

"Aren’t you guys gonna order anything to eat? That’s the whole reason you came here."

"Dude, who said that," Jordpigdogwannabeamerican asked.

"Does it matter? I’ll have a supreme ultra mega deluxe grande macho nacho without the nacho please. And a twelve pound burrito without the -ito in the shape of a fish," Minime said.

"I’ll take one of everything without the thing please," Josh said.

"Can I get an omega sized quesadilla with extra omega please?" Kyle asked.

"I want twenty tacos with everything on em," Ben asked.

"I’ll take a girl stuffed gordita please," Jordenfroudelick requested.

"How about a taco salad without the taco," April ordered.

"I want two tacos please," Kim said.

"I want that little Taco Bell dog in a burrito please," Angie smiled.

Out of nowhere, all their orders appeared and they did begin to feast mightily (stuffing their faces). "I wonder where all the food came from..." Kyle said.

"I made it for you. And now that you’ve consumed it, you’ve gained super powers," the voice said.

"Umm... thanks for the food but who the crap are you?" Ben asked through a mouthful of tacos.

"I am the Spork Master."

"Huh?"

"I am the Spork Master, the king of Taco Bell."

"Okay, whose been smoking too much Mary Jane?"

"I am not kidding you," the voice spoke followed by a flash of light. When the light dimmed, a giant Spork was standing before us. "I am the Spork Master."

"That or you’re really insane," Kim giggled.

"Do not mock The Spork Master. You have been chosen to wield blessed powers from an ancient age gone by."

"Wait," said Jyordain," What?"

"Stop trying to think!" said Kyle.

"SILENCE!!! All will become clear in due time, until then, master these new powers that you have been given."

So, obviously, the Spork Master has managed to completely confuse and dismantle the little brain cells left among the clan. Fortunately, April hadn’t been around the rest of us bums long enough, so she hadn’t taken full effect of our stupidity. "So, let’s find out our powers." April said.

"Yeah, we should, "said Josh, "but I’m still hungry, I want some lemon meringue pie."

Then, out of nowhere, burritos all over the Taco Bell rose up from their wrappings, and congregated about Josh in an orderly fashion. Confused grunts of "Ooh" and "Ahh" went about the room as they saw the tortilla wrapped bean, meat, and cheese goodness (mmmm) levitate about the Taco Bell.

"No......... I said I wanted some pie. " Josh said disappointedly. "Oh well, hey Greg, you want a burrito?"

(I wasn’t aware that his lemur came with us today, but what the heck, this is a random story anyway, so we’ll play along with it.) Greg’s eyes glowed blue, and started to make a really weird sound, and many rabid lemurs from across the globe came to the Taco Bell.

"Wow, that was so incredibly spontaneous and random, that I didn’t have any time to come up with any kind of response." said Mini-Me.

Jordotomegathericon saw the lemurs, screamed and immediately jumped behind a chair, to protect himself (he lost a sister to a rabid lemur attack many years ago (it still haunts him)))). He then proceeded to lift an entire semi-truck to shield himself from the gathering of the lemurs. "Wow, I can lift heavy things! " Then, being too scared to stay and watch, Kim, Angie, and April ran into the bathroom, which caused Jordqwertyuiopn to drop the semi-truck.

"Oww! My power is gone!"

"No, you illegal! It just only works when hot girls are around!" said Kyle sharply. "Now, about the-"

Kyle was about to talk about three-toed sloths and chocolate pudding (for some random reason), but all of a sudden, a bright light arose as if from nowhere; after the light dimmed, it was apparent that Kyle had been transformed into a moose with flaming antlers (it was the only rational explanation). At first everybody was intimidated by the ginormous moose before them, but then Kyle did proceed to sneeze feverishly. Kyle transformed back into his bummish teenage self again, then proclaimed, "I forgot I was allergic to moose hair."

"Who really cares?!!! We need to get going on our quest, remember?!!! We don’t have time for all this goofing around!!!" said Ben so maliciously that it would seem that he is so evil that he is good.

"Hey thanks for clearing that up, narrator! This makes things so much easier!" said Kim cheerfully.

"....................................Oh, yeah, it’s my turn." said the Mini-Me. "Wow, look at all these weapons, look at this shield! My powers are strangely similar to that of Link!"(You have to excuse the Mini-Me, he constantly plays video games (it should be an Olympic sport) and this is but one of the characters from a video game that he has spent countless years playing)))).

"Yes, but look what else you have, your superpowers have come with the spandex, and the earrings...which makes you.........unheterosexual, dude." said Kyle.

The Mini-Me trying his hardest not to listen to Kyle (even though he knew Link had an odd choice in clothing), said, "Hey, I have pointy ears too!"

"BALEETED!!"

"What was that April?"

"Oh, nothing......DELTEATED!!"

"April, what are you doing?"

"Nothing! ...... Del Taco?"

Loud gasps came from everyone in the room.

"April...... STOP THAT!!!"

"I can’t!!!! It must be my power or something."

So now everybody in the clan has identified their powers (except for Angie and Kim who happen to have the power of bounch (DON’T ASK QUESTIONS!!! THAT IS THEIR POWER!!! THERE IS NOTHING THAT WE CAN DO ABOUT IT!!! (No matter how sick and twisted it is.)))))).