So for some strange and odd reason our heroes now dividing their forces, and going on a quest (As if you didn’t already know). You probably need a re-cap about what is going on (This story is insanely confusing and overwhelmingly hard to follow). So, in a nutshell (mmmmm, peanuts (sorry)), Jorduioean has super strength only when hot girls are around, Ben is maliciously evil (but somehow he is a good guy), Josh can lift burritos with telekinesis by saying ‘lemon meringue’ and his pet lemur, Greg, can summon rabid lemurs from across the globe. Kyle can transform into a moose with flaming antlers (but he is allergic to moose hair). April has the power to quote anything said at homestarrunner.com in any accent she desires (she is the only one who can mimic the poopsmith perfectly). Kim and Angie use the power of bounch jointly, while Hunter has the weapons and powers of Link (while reading this story, you may wonder, "Hey, does he really have all of these weapons?" Let me, on behalf of my co-authors assure you that each and every one of the weapons mentioned are, in fact, taken from one Zelda game or another. I will do everything in my power to classify these items by the specific game that they came from, to reduce the confusion factor of reading this story by .002%.).

So thus it was so, that the clan did divide themselves into three groups, to search the land, and rid it of the evil that is straightforwardness, on-taskness, hardworkingness, and all those other nesses (but not the loch ness!!) as well as Del Taco, and all their worshippers. And so it was written, that Hunter, Kyle and Josh, did each lead a group through the wilderness. Kyle ventured with Kim and Ben, while Josh, and his pet lemur, Greg, went with Angie, and the Mini-Me did begin to explore with April, and Jordokikuichimonjin. And so it was decided that Josh, Greg and Angie explored to the East (We’re going to Japan!!), Hunter, April and Jordomasamunen ventured to the South (yay!! Nosotros somos irando a México!!!), and Kyle, Ben and Kim went to the North (Canadia!!).

We will now follow the first account of Kyle, Ben and Kim as they proceed to-

"Hey Narrator!!! Quit your babbling so we can get going!!!" said Ben.

"Yeah, let’s get going," said Kim "Are we all packed?"

"Hang on," said Kyle "I’ve got my itching cream, my ukulele, and of course, stuff to make tacos with; ‘cause we’ll be roasting taco shells on the road. Ok, I’m good."

"But which way is North?" asked Kim.

"How should I know?" said Kyle.

"Come on Boy Scout, you should know this!"

"You expect me to pay attention to some old guy showing me how to turn a compass, in the middle of the night, trying to look for a reflector, while I’m freezing my butt off?!"

"*gasp*" said Kim suddenly "You said the "B" word!"

"Cut it out!!! We gotta get going!!!" said Ben sharply.

"Right, let’s go," said Kim.

Meanwhile, as Kyle, Kim and Ben begin their quest to the North, we follow Hunter, April and Jordomuramasan, as they set off as well.

"So where are we going again?" said Jordobiggoron in a confused tone.

"Dude, you’re supposed to be paying attention to these sort of things!" said Mini-Me. "Besides, we’re going to Mexico."

Hunter and April could tell that he was excited, because he immediately put on a sombrero, started jumping all around, making weird noises, and busting out chips and salsa, and giving them to everybody within a 5 block radius of where he was standing.

"Settle down dude, we’re on an important mission anyway. We won’t have much time to hang out and be bums in Mexico," said Mini-Me.

"Toons, games, characters, downloads, store, e-mail!" said April suddenly.

"Where did that come from?"

"Sorry, what I meant to say was, let’s get going."

Blah blah blah blah blah Josh, Angie blah Greg. Blah blah blah blah, blah.

"Hey, that wasn’t very nice you know. Our part is just as important as the other guys," said Angie.

(Sorry for the technical difficulties. The recent narrations were being taken care of by our Blahkestonian translator, who is now being reassigned to narrate somebody else’s story.)

"Where in the world is Blahkestonia?" said Angie in a confused manner. "And why are we going East to Japan anyway?"

"Blahkestonia is a far off land that is somewhere in between the castle of Aaaaaaaaaagh, and the frozen lands of Nador, and we’re going to Japan, because it was revealed unto Greg in a dream that we were predestined to venture to the far off, super technologically advanced land of Japan." said Josh.

"But couldn’t we just go West, over the Pacific Ocean, instead of going East, over the entire planet, and save ourselves so much more-"

"No time to waste, Angie!! We have to head East immediately!! To Japan!!" said Josh heroically.

And so they did proceed to frolic merrily eastward until they ran into a little problem.

"I forgot to bring burritos," Josh screamed in a girly voice.

"Its not like there’s only one Taco Bell on Earth," Angie sighed.

"Ooo Eee Ooo Aaa Aaa Ching Chang Walla Walla Bing Bang," Greg said.

"What’s that supposed to mean? Are you threatening me," Josh twitched.

"I think he’s saying that he loves me," Angie giggled.

"I don’t care what Greg is saying as long as he’s not threatening me with his long tail."

And so they did continue to frolic yet again until they reached the Atlantic Ocean where yet another problem arose.

"How’re we gonna cross this thing anyways?" Josh asked.

"I’m not the one designated to lead this little entourage," Greg groaned.

"Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Lets get this over with you burrito loving semi super people," Angie said knocking Josh into the water. "Maybe we could get somebody to give us a ride."

"Yeah, sure. Like people are actually nice enough to do that," Josh said while rolling his eyes.

"Sure, why not?"

"Okay."

And so they did meet a man who said he’d give them a ride across the ocean to Europe so they could continue on their way. "Told you."

"Shoosheth thee woman."

"Umm... where’re we supposed to be going again Mr. Narrator?" Minime asked.

(You’re supposed to be heading to the Homeland of Canadia over there. In other words, you’re supposed to be going to Mexico.)

"That doesn’t make any sense since my name is Canadia... So why am I supposed to be going to Mexico?" Jordolefunenjunkieofalldrugs asked.

(Don’t look at me, I’m the Narrator, not the writer... or writers as the case happens to be in this book. So anywho its where Hunter (the writer) decided to send you. And since he’s taking so long to write his part, I, Kyle, the original quack who came up with this story is going to continue with it so onto the theatre where nothing makes more sense than the underside of your bum!).

"Whoa, where’d that come from? I didn’t know that the writers were gonna have a part in this chapter."

I’m allowed to add myself to any part of this story as I please since its necessary for the goodness of all things involving tacos>>

"Well, onto the story! Lets get going! Um... I got distracted... where’re we going again?"

And so Kyle, Kim, and Ben did proceed to march, frolic, and stroll northward until they came to Canadia where Kyle did proceed to yell, "Mooose!" until he ran out of breathe.

"What’re you doing you silly little boy?" Kim giggled.

"I’m calling my peepo’s since we’re in Canadia and Moose roam freely here. I figure I could get to know a few nice Moose and become a full Moose rather than a mockery of a Moose," Kyle heaved.

"Well I think I’ll tame all the Moose and use them to take over the world!" Ben cackled. Suddenly his face twitched and he added, "For the good of all mankind mind you..."

"Umm... okay..."

"Oh Canadia!" Kyle started to sing then he stopped since he didn’t know the rest of the song (come to think of it, nobody knows the rest of their national anthem... (not even Canadians (nobody cares enough)).

"Well, lets find what we came for so we can go home and indulge our love for Choco Tacos. And perform other stuff that’s essential to our teenagehood antics," Kyle smiled and began to frolic into the woods.

"Why does that man keep frolicking? I mean, he’s supposed to be a Moose of immense proportions but he just skips around like he’s gay or something," Ben asked. "Maybe if he transformed into an elf or something I’d understand but my goodness! He turns into a Moose and I know for a fact that he’s not gay! But maybe I could use his silliness for my plan for world domination for the goodness of all mankind!"

"You’re weird. Why’d they write you into this story anyways? I mean, you don’t have any useful powers and you’ve only got world domination on your mind," Kim giggled.

"Well you’re one to talk. You’ve got the power of ‘bounch’ and that’s not exactly descriptive and it sounds kinda... odd. Come on! Show me your power! I dare you!"

"Fine! I’ll bounch you good you disbeliever!" And so a brilliant flash of light appeared and when it cleared Ben lay sprawled on the ground with a massive bruise on his forehead. In Kim’s hand was a frying pan. "Take that you meanie head!"

"Um Kim... That’s not the power of ‘bounch.’ You just pulled that frying pan out of your backpack and smacked him upside the head," Kyle said. He had suddenly appeared out of the trees in his moose-form.

"How do you explain the bright light?" Kim said in ‘the pose.’

"I don’t... how did you do that?"

"High powered flash light. I switched it on when I reached for my frying pan," Kim smiled.

"I thought so! So what is the power of ‘bounch?’ I mean, you’ve yet to show anybody."

"That’s because is a secret ability that I only show to special people!" Kim growled.

"Admit it! You don’t know what the power of ‘bounch’ is!" Kyle accused.

"I don’t have to tell you anything boy! And even if I did tell you anything, it would be thannch you’rench anch dorknch! Andnch Inch wantnch tonch kicknch younch!" Kim yelled. Out of nowhere a turkey dropped onto Kyle’s head and he fell to the ground unconscious. "That’s random."

"So here we are in beautiful, technologically advanced Mongolia!" Josh said.

"Umm... are you disillusioned? We’ve still gotta cross the dessert and then cross the sea to get to Japan!" Angie yelled.

"Stop yelling at me! I don’t do well with anger," Josh cringed.

"Well, lets get started," Greg said rolling his eyes.

And so they did begin to crawl across the dessert of tapioca pudding (I misspelled ‘dessert’ before and figured I’d go along with it since it added to the oddities of all that is weird meaning that it fit perfectly into this story (I was going to say book instead of story but we’re not sure if its gonna evolve into a book or just a random compilation of odd idea in a somewhat sort of logical order)).

"So much tapioca, so nasty that it ruins my ability to come up with funny... well I don’t know because this stinky tapioca is ruining my... again I don’t know what I should be saying," Josh cried.

"You don’t do well with anything do you Josh," Angie giggled.

"Hey! That’s Kim’s thing to giggle when she talks!" Greg observed.

"Does it matter now since we’re like... Josh you’re right! This tapioca is messing with my mind!" Angie cried.

"Now whose crying because of tapioca?" Josh giggled. "Ahh! I pulled a Kim!"

"It’s the tapioca! Its affecting our brains because its just not right!"

And so they did begin to go crazy and imitate other characters thus far brought into the story until they went unconscious.

When they woke up they were tied together in a village of pale skinned no arms teddy graham spitting natives.

And so we now return to the group of Hunter (the Minime), Jordelafloibendwarfer (Canadia), and April (who has yet to be given a fun nickname because Kyle (the one who seems to be writing at this moment doesn’t know her well enough to give her any discriminating mark of name (like Josh is known as ‘fullmerboy’ and Ben is ‘captain insano’))).

And so they did find themselves in Mexico, the home of Canadia (doesn’t make much sense does it?) where we find our ‘heroes’ watching Canadia picking a fight with a professional Mexican wrestler (with the mask and everything) just because he can.

"I bet I could beat you with one hand and one foot tied together behind my back," Jordalflorb bragged.

"Chu are a fool chu pequeño wanna be wrestler!" Mandradogma the infamous wrestler known all throughout his own imagination barked (not like a dog).

"I’ll take you down because you’re just a stinking wannabe! Well back home we’ve got real wrestling called the WWWWF! ‘World wannabe way wawesome Fools!’"

"Five bucks says Canadia loses," April laughs.

"I don’t want to lose the only money I’ve got," Hunter grumbled.

"I’ll take chu down the old fashioned way! No chica’s allowed watch this fight because I don’t want to disgust dem with de gore that will be coming out of chu body pequeño chico!" Mandradogma snarled.

"Uhh... no girls allowed? Uh... you sure," Jordelahopskotch cringed.

"Frightened my pequeño amigo?"

"Nah, just thought that it’d be a little unfair to not have girls around."

"Well then, shall we begin pequeño?"

And so Mandradogma did pummel Canadia profusely until he resembled something like a plum.

"I’ll help you my friend!" Minime said unsheathing the Master Sword and charging into the fight equipped with the Golden Gauntlets, Iron boots, and (I don’t remember everything so I’ll ask Minime when I get the chance to update me on whatever else Link would use in a fight against a giant wrestler).

And so Mandradogma did begin to pummel Minime profusely until he resembled a green grape (he was wearing the green tights that Link wears).

"Whoa, holy crap! I’ll save you my friends!" April said as she transformed into Strong Bad (she had been out of the room but hearing the pained screams of both Canadia and Hunter. And with that Mandradogma did lose to a girl (which isn’t a good thing for a guy whose got a rep to keep up).

"Pay up Minime! Jordalflorkenmahogany lost and you shook on it!" April said in ‘the pose.’

"Alright," Hunter said reaching into his pocket. "Hey! All my money has turned into large jewels (otherwise known as rupees (play a Zelda game)) so I don’t even have five bucks!"

"Well give me some of those then!"

"Umm... are you two ever going to wake up? I didn’t hit either of you that hard," Kim groaned.

"Five more minutes," Ben whimpered. It was clear that he wasn’t very clear in his mind (meaning that this representation of whatever it is that I’m doing isn’t very clear. Just a thought: why isn’t sky clear?)

"I’ve gotta be dreaming! I mean, I’m in the wilderness using a turkey for a pillow and I’m a giant moose! Achoo!" Kyle said.

"Well Mr. Moose, maybe you could wake up enough to give me a ride to the nearest Taco Bell. I’m hungry!" Kim growled (so did her stomach (which actually was a petite little growl that reminds me of a lion cub (at least what I think a lion cub’s growl would sound like))).

"Alright Achoo! Man, could you get me some of my anti sneezing cream plee ACHOOOO ze?"

"Where did this turkey come from anyways?" Ben asked as he started to gnaw into the roasted bird (it had been roasted by the flames produced by Kyle’s prongs so it was cooked and Ben wasn’t just being... well... himself). "I’ve gotta say I haven’t had this gooda fowl since I got into that insult contest with Ivan."

"Why don’t you eat some of that turkey Kim?" Kyle suggested.

"Because white meat goes straight to my hips," Kim said rolling her eyes.

"Okay... then why’ve you been carrying around that bag full of spam?"

"I don’t need to explain myself to you deer boy!" Kim said clutching her bag.

"Whatever. Which way is Taco Bell?"

"Duh! There should be a Taco Bell on every corner! At least, if I ruled the world there would be one on every corner of every street in every city because Taco Bell rules!"

"Calm down Mr. World Dominator. You’ll have to actually take over the world and you don’t seem to be doing too good of a job of it so far," Kim said (its true. As of yet he’s won the hearts of 7 people (his polling office sent me some statistics) and it didn’t look like he’d be converting anybody to his project until he came up with a viable plan for how he was going to win the hearts of everybody on earth (he actually claims that he bought Ivan’s heart but he refuses to show us)). "And besides, I want a chalupa and you don’t seem to be building up your armies or anything so how on earth could you take over the earth?"

"For your information, I’ve already recruited the trees, the monsters that used to infest Kyle’s room (otherwise known as, "The Abyss" because we didn’t think there was actually a floor in the room because the dirty clothes just kept piling up and this one time Hunter went into his room without Kyle acting as a guide so we had to make a human chain to save him from the atrocities that spawned from the mold, mildew and whatever else so when we finally got him out of there, he was two feet shorter and pale (yes, long before this story ever took place Minime wasn’t so mini (that’s right he started off a little taller but because he entered a ‘no no area’ he lost a large part of his soul which lead to him becoming a short dude rather than a tall dude and this incoherent mess of a paragraph is really starting to get out of control so I think I’ll end it sometime in the near future like when Kyle can actually get a girl to like him which’ll never happen so

(Sorry for the interruption. Kyle is currently pummeling himself for making fun of himself. It’s actually a fairly interesting fight to watch since there’s only one contender and both hands are obeying both sides of the fight and Kyle isn’t exactly the most coordinated of people so that nothing really looks like it should and OOO (there goes his spleen along with a few other vital organs that aren’t really all that fun to say... well pelvis is fun to say) it looks like the fight is over folks!)

Now where was I... oh yes! Now we end that paragraph (took a while. The fight took about four minutes before he was finally done hurting himself) "And I’ve also gotten a large portion of Kentucky to join my cause!" Ben declared.

"The trees? How’d you get trees to join your cause for world domination? The monsters out of my old room (Kyle’s room was disinfected until they finally decided to bomb the house to the ground so that’s why we said ‘the monsters that used to infest’ but luckily the abominations got out (Kyle had tamed a few until they felt betrayed and went rampant in the Final Fantasy series as the random encounter monsters (and a few of the more special breeds became lead villains!) but for the most part they’ve just started to invade little children’s nightmares rather than try to find real jobs) I can understand want a better world for themselves and everybody else but I mean, sheesh! The trees wouldn’t even help you when you tried to save the rain forest! They tried to eat you!"

"And what about this thing with Kentucky? How’d you get them to join your crusade?"

"The Colonel is in league with Taco Bell and so he figured that what was good for his business partners was good for him and I promised that the opposite corners would house Kentucky Fried Chickens and that we’d get rid of chincy wannabe good munchin places like Church’s and Popeye’s. It wasn’t hard!"

"You scare me sometimes," Kim said with an odd look on her face (you should see some of the faces that girl can make).

"Well, here’s the Taco of the Bell." Kyle said. "Oh no! Its another cut scene to another group!"

"What do they want from us?" Josh asked to the world at large. He was tied to Angie (which he didn’t mind whatsoever (he thought she smelled really good)) and Greg was hanging from his tail above them.

"I think they want to annoy us until we join their cause," Angie answered (she wasn’t enjoying the experience (Josh smells really weird some days (and this day he’d been crawling through tapioca pudding)).

"Oh, hello! My name is Homestar Runner! Welcome to our village," a native said.

"I think he’s trying to communicate with us but I can’t make out his dialect. Hold on, I’m gonna try something," Josh said. "Bubble, bubble, bubble."

"Its nice to meet you Josh-Josh! How’re you doing my main man?" Homestar said.

"Umm... Bubble bubble."

"Oh, I’m sorry about the whole tying you up thing but we didn’t know who you were but since you know our language, I’ll let you go," Homestar said. And with that the ropes came undone.

"How’d you do that?" Angie asked. "You didn’t use your hands or anything!"

"I don’t understand the pale one. What did she just say?" Homestar asked.

"Bubble bubble bubble."

"What’re hands?" Homestar asked.

"Oh, I’m hungry! You’ wouldn’t happen to have any butter would you?" Greg asked.

"Oh, we’ve got lots of butter and lots of tapioca pudding. That reminds me, I’ve gotta go ask my neighbor if I can borrow his fondue pot." And with that Homestar was gone.

"Quick! Lets get outa here before my head explodes!" "We can’t offend the natives! They might be offended!"

"Does it look like I care?"

"Um... yes?"

And so (I’ve been saying that a bit haven’t I?) they did take their leave and did frolic as quickly as they could away from the village of annoyingly pale armless idiots.

"Well, I feel bad," Josh complained.

"Wait... What’s that sound?" Angie said. There was a howl of people screaming such ridiculousnesses as, "Email! Store! Characters! Toons! Games!" and much worse things (like Marzipan).

"We’ve upset the natives! Run," Josh yelled.

"Well duh!"

As they ran for their right to not be smacked by rogue teddy grahams, Josh did yell, "Lemon Meringue!" To which burritos from across the globe did make a wall to protect them from the saliva covered teddy grahams.

"Wow, that was useful," Josh said stopping. "Hey! We made it to the ocean that separates the mainland from Japan! How cool is that?"

"I think we took a wrong turn."

"Why do you say that?" So Josh looked at the ocean below. It was a liquid (that’s what oceans are made of: check) and it was massive (oceans are big: check) and it was off-yellow (oceans are blue: check... wait a gosh darn second! Why the freaking crap is it off-yellow? How does anything become ‘off-yellow’ anyways? I mean, yellow is a pretty broad spectrum of colors so why is it ‘off-yellow’ and not just plain ordinary run of the mill yellow?).

"I think you might be right about that Angie. This is definetly (I spelled it how I thought it should sound) not the way to Japan."

"What was your first clue?"

"That its off-yellow in color," Josh said proudly.

"I got stuck with this weirdo?"

"You could’ve gotten stuck with the guy who got his bottom womped by a professional wrestler who then in turn got beat by a girl," Greg said.

"What’re you talking about?"

"Haven’t you been reading the story or am I the only one who gets to watch them write this thing?"

"I think you’re the lucky one," Josh said.

"Let us return to more important matters pertaining to nothing!"

"Hey! You stole that from the intro of the story!"

"I can steal whatever I want because the story says that I can at the beginning!"

"Is it just me or is this particular chapter a lot longer than the others?" April asked.

"I think its just you since I have no idea what you’re talking about," Jordfreeblender said.

"Well it could be that this particular chapter is longer since the one who was originally supposed to be writing hasn’t been so whatever makes you happy April," Hunter said as he pulls out his magical boomerang that can target up to five targets and will always find it’s way home.

"I don’t like it. I want this chapter ended right now! You hear me you meanie head that ruins a good thing! End this right now!" April yelled.

And so ends this chapter (kinda mean of me to end such a good thing but the voices in my mind that play these characters are sick of chapter four that’s been in the making for a whole two months now) without any explanation as to what the crap is going on in their world.