- What was it like to travel through time?
- Derek's Answer: Well, let me tell you, it was a life changeing expierience. First, I began to feel all tingelly, and then, suddenly, everything went black. Next thing I knew, I was looking in a mirror, and what did I see... A WOMAN!!! For a while I was scared, but then I realized that was Jeremy. Then, I was terrified! Until then I had only wanted to conquer the world in a delusitory way, but at that moment, my hobby became a passion. I swore that one day I would rule the world so that I could persecute, at will, all those freaks who inhabit the earth. (aka Jeremies)
- Jeremy's Answer: I have never experienced quite a feeling as I experienced that day. It was kinda like having your body turned inside out and your ribcage pointing away from you, only without pain, only a tiggling sensation. The part that hurt was when I appeared and fell 6 feet onto a large Mongol.
- Brian's Answer: It happened very quickly; all I saw was a flash of light, and then I appeared in the past. I was quite disappointed, I thought it would have been like the movie "Back to the Future".
- Did any of you catch diseases from the rats?
- Derek's Answer: No, not from lack of trying though.
- Jeremy's Answer: Not really, but the rats caught many diseases from me. Especially after the anti-evolution charge destroyed my twentieth-century bathroom (which included that door Derek found in 752 AD) and I could no longer wash my hands.
- Brian's Answer: I don't know about the others, but I can't say that I was really affected by the presence of the rats. Although, I did obtain a slight bruise from one of the rats when it bit me. Oh yeah, I also broke out in a cold sweat, became enveloped in hives, saw halucionations, developed a 110 degree body temperature, developed the bubonic plague, somehow obtained the ebola virus, and worst of all, I began to worship the Derek. Well, I suppose that is what you get after prolonged exposure to rats.
- What is "The Scroll" really about?
- Derek's Answer: The Scroll is really about me. True, there are some other characters involved in my daring escapades, but everything is really about me.
- Jeremy's Answer: It's about my quest as an individual to save humanity by destroying The Derek and Brian and their evil ways, and instituting a utopian society of peace and prosperity which will one day fall and give birth to a race of giant mutant rats, and to prove that my partial insanity does not affect my depth perception.
- Brian's Answer: What? Are you serious? Is this some sort of joke? It better be. How could anyone question the legitimacy of the greatest document ever written? Next question.
- People say power corrupts, does it?
- Derek's Answer: Are you saying I'm corrupt?! Off with his head! You're food for the Spawn mister...
- Jeremy's Answer: Of course it does, just look at us.
- Brian's Answer: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's funny.
- How are you all still alive and looking so young?
- Derek's Answer: Wow, do you really think I look that good? I have been dieting recently and working out alot... Just for that, you can have one of the Canary Islands, but only one.
- Jeremy's Answer: I developed (and patented) The Elixer of Life, and I drink from it twice a week. It prolongs my life infinitely and reduces my cravings for unicorn blood.
- Brian's Answer: It has been lost to the ages of how we maintain our extremely prolonged survival. How do we look so young? Why it is quite simple. Mayonnaise is a great preservent. All I need to do is sit in a tub of it for about an hour a day.
- What do you consider to be the best combat units?
- Derek's Answer: Well, I'm quite partial to the aborigines myself, as well as the Spawn of BoBo. They don't breed as fast as rats, and you can't manufacture them like you can the zeta-minuses; but for sheer power, there is nothing better than a mutant chimp.
- Jeremy's Answer: 'Tis a noble question you ask, but I must say that giant mutant creatures are exceptionally good at destroying life and civilizations, atleast when they are properly managed and in the absence of alien influence.
- Brian's Answer: The best combat unit that I have had the privelage to work with has to be Special Cacti Ops, or SCO. They are an elite form of barrel cacti that are trained to perform surgical operations. Their best operation would have to have been the time when they infiltrated Jeremy's palace and assassinated the leader of the rat army. Many of their other operations are still highly classified.
- Derek and Jeremy always seemed to have some kind of home, whether it be a palace, the sewers, or a drawer. Where did Brian live?
- Derek's Answer: Brian was a Nomad. That was why he could travel so far with a cactus on his back.
- Jeremy's Answer: I'm not quite sure. Perhaps he had some way of living inside the cactus on his back much like a turtle or snail would live in its shell.
- Brian's Answer: Um... well... there is, um... there is a quite simple and logical explanation for that, you see... QUICK! LOOK OVER THERE! A FLYING SAUCER!
- Which one of you is the best world leader?
- Derek's Answer: Need you ask? I cannot believe your impudence! I will not rest until I see your headless, castrated corpse paraded naked through the streets on Christmas Day!!!
- Jeremy's Answer: Me.
- Brian's Answer: I'm sure that Derek and Jeremy would both agree that I am.
- How do you feel about Democratic government systems?
- Derek's Answer: Well, they're not all bad... They did plant a desire for world conquest
in my heart though... And that is why I suppress them wherever I may. Only from a democracy can the best World Conquerers come.
- Jeremy's Answer: What's that? Is that like Communism?
- Brian's Answer: I don't really know or care much about this system. I mean, do you care how ants coordinate their society before you crush them? Although, I believe that any form of government is better than one established by Jeremy or Derek.
Questions & Answers
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