...And so Derek and Jeremy sat there harassing Brian for years. Or so they thought it to be him, for in reality it was Brian's twin Brother, Bryan. While he kept them occupied, and eventually died and was resurrected and a cactus, Brian easily took rule of the globe. He promptly purchased "Dictatorship for Dummies" and gained the capabilities to properly manage his country. Despite his newfound knowledge Brian still lacked the ability to correctly manage a nation larger than the Vatican. So, while Derek and Jeremy mocked Brian's twin Bryan mistakenly, Brian again proceeded to grossly mismanage the globe. This was much to the amusement of Derek and Jeremy, who now had realized their error, and mocked the Real Brian vigorously. So one day, Derek and Jeremy went home to make new plans for world domination. On the way home Derek fell into one of those traps where you dig a large hole and cover it with leaves. Jeremy cleverly laid it there on the way to the mocking of Brian. Jeremy was then free to conquer the world as he chose. Little did Jeremy know that Derek survived his 90 mile fall. He then gathered together the hordes of the lower mantle and set out to seek revenge on Jeremy, not Brian, just Jeremy. Don't worry, the army wasn't as formidable as it sounds. The largest warrior was the microbial one commonly called bacterium. Derek unleashed this army against the largest army ever composed: 9 million foot soldiers, 5 million cavalry, 6 million archers, 500,000 catapults, 1000 F-22's, 1000 Apaches, 89,561,345&1/3 droids, and Jeremy riding in a hovercraft. A massive battle ensued which lasted 90 moons. The army of Jeremy believed that they had beaten Derek when suddenly his army turned into mayonnaise. It turns that Derek's bacteria had infected the army and spoiled it into a rotting putrid pile of mayo. Derek then promptly packaged the mayo and sold it to condiment stands. He made a small fortune, but following in the wake of his hero, he grossly, and I mean grossly, mismanaged the country. But then the bitter Brian awoke to his cold, cruel life. True Derek had defeated Jeremy's army, but as there were no rats in the army and the victory was hollow. Anyway, it was really Brian who continued to grossly mismanage massive nations and ruin the political, military, and economic infrastructures of the globe. Unhappy by the corrupt government and rising taxes, Derek complacently waits for the world to revolt and plots his vengeance on Jeremy. Meanwhile Jeremy, still not realizing the value of his rats, began to bread mutant hamsters to eat all of the mayonnaise. Unfortunately for Brian, Derek's home base in Australia had never been abolished and the peoples there remained fiendishly loyal to The Derek, as they liked to call him. So Derek returned to his fastness in Australia, and there, deep within that unconquerable land he marshals his forces to claim the world. Or at least a significant chunk of it. Meanwhile Brian continued to grossly mismanage the globe and every one revolted with arms and hamsters supplied by the Jeremy. Fortunately for Brian, he maintained control of the Sahel, and, far more importantly, finally learned enough to apply the techniques he learned from "Dictatorship for Dummies" (a book published by JeremyIncİ and now available in a store near you) to correctly manage the ever diminishing strip of grassland, which was liberally populated by the resident livestock. It turns out that Jeremy's hamsters all contracted a crazy disease brought to earth by that alien that only affects hamsters. Jeremy then decided to go back to raising rats again. After gaining millions from his series of books "                        " for Dummies, which he copyrighted before everyone else, he sat back and let the money and rats pour in while Derek and Brian foolishly fought for the globe. He also perfected alchemy and produced the elixir of life. 1000 years later, don't ask us what happened during that time, everything was exactly the same except there was TV and video games. Africa and Australia were both now nuclear waste lands mainly populated by rats and patches of mayonnaise (which had been given life by the radiation). There was no clear ruler of the world. There were a lot of democracies around the world (whatever that is) and all three of our heroes: Derek, Jeremy, and Brian, were in hiding, eagerly plotting their next move. Suddenly a huge army of mayonnaise and mutant rats came crashing through Europe (their numbers were in the billions). Then... the armies of NATO attempted to counter attack the formidable forces. A massive battle ensued in which 2 rats were killed and three packets of mayonnaise were opened. They believed this to be the end of the Grand Army of Brian, Derek , and Jeremy when they looked around and found their army decimated. Bodies lay strewn across the ground, tanks laying destroyed, burning fuselages of planes scattered everywhere... well, you get the point. The army had the government trapped in the White House and they were advancing rapidly. The president ordered a tactical nuclear strike. The nukes were launched but little did they know that the mayonnaise had taken control of the missiles. They came falling on D.C. and it was destroyed. However the mayonnaise thrived upon the radiation which had spawned it and began to rage out of control. Luckily for the rest of the world, there are more obese people in America than anywhere else, and they all LOVE Mayonnaise!!! To make a short story longer, they ate the mayonnaise , and the rats. And like Jeremy before them they all went insane and ran around the Amazon in loincloths. Meanwhile, Brian sundered the diminutive which commanded the rat and mayo army by tying Derek and Jeremy to cactuses and trying to take control of the world himself. Fortunately, some of the spawn of BoBo were riding cactuses in the area, and they promptly freed Derek, who they remembered as their illustrious leader. Jeremy, on the other hand, was retied to the cactus with 500,000,000 extra knots. Will he ever escape? No. However, that was Jeremy's look-alike that read about in the former scrolls. The real Jeremy was living peacefully in Hawaii with his 3rd legion of rats.

End of Scroll VI