Or was it... Less than three weeks after Brian's ill-advised takeover, his gross mismanagement caused a universal revolt, led by the evil Derecian cult. However by this time, unknownst to anyone else, Jeremy successfully completed his reciprificatorial time altering machine. He set it up quickly and pressed the start button. The rats, the revolts, and even Derek's pet monkey were gone. It was now/then 752 AD as Brian, Derek, and Jeremy all woke up in different parts of the world, eager to begin new schemes for world domination. Derek appeared in a desolate landscape with no familiar landmarks in sight. He walked for days until he came across a tribe of friendly Indians. They took him in and told him the story of the forbidden door. He had to see the door for himself because of his inquisitive nature. He set out on a two-day walk. Upon first sight of it, he was awestruck. Alone on a hill stood a twentieth-century door in perfect condition. He knew what he had to do. He had to open it. He scaled the hill and placed his fingers around the handle. Suddenly a booming voice echoed across the land, "How dare you attempt to open my door! No mortal has or ever shall open this door! For trying to defy the Gods I sentence you to stay here with your hand stuck to the door for all eternity." Luckily, Derek recognized his arch-nemesis's voice. Derek jumped into the air, grabbed Brian, and dragged him to the ground. There he easily overpowered the pathetic weakling and tied him to a near by cactus. Derek then took the door and traveled to the steeps of Asia. There he saw Jeremy running, scared by the Mongol Hordes. Derek stopped to mock Jeremy then continued on his Quest. The reason Jeremy was being chased by the Mongols is because instantly after the time warp, he appeared six feet above the Mongol leader and fell on him, putting the Mongol leader six feet under. After he finally escaped from them, he remembered the supplies he brought along with him during the time warp: a gun, a stick of plutonium, a microwave and hand generator, a quart of chocolate milk, and an extra pair of socks. After two months of traveling he arrived in Rome, promptly took over, and conquered the remainder of Europe and the Middle East, and united his gigantic empire under the name Sony. Unfortunately for him, he did not trademark the name and Brian immediately jumped on it. He then filed a lawsuit so that Jeremy had to either pay Brian 2% of his profits or abdicate the throne. Jeremy, being Jeremy, chose to abdicate the throne and Brian ruled over his huge empire of Sony®, while tied to his cactus in the Gobi Desert. Sony® had no chance. Brian's decadent government soon fell into petty bickering, which resulted in the breakup of the great empire of Sony®. Brian remains tied to his cactus giving orders to his ministers who return spurious reports of the national well-being. Mean while Derek and Jeremy were free to construct the Ultimate Empire. Mwah Ha Ha Ha!

End of Scroll II