(The scribe notes dully in a side conversation that The Derek could not have been too laughably weak if he pumped all of the water form the center of the earth out despite the amazing pressure the water exerted on that outrageous pump.)

The Derek, now residing in his embryonic state and exiled to the moon, seemed to be safely out of world events. And Jeremy continued his tyrannical rule. Unfortunately for Jeremy that tyrannical rule (or misrule as all supporters of freedom, equality, justice, video games, pizza, ice cream, The Derek, Brian, and Swiss-cheese firmly believed) did not go quite so well as he had hoped. Despite his awesome machinery, the Jeremy made a mistake in his schematics when he attempted to deal with the retrieval of his entities from multiple dimensions and the error caused him to develop a sporadic, yet terrible stutter. (Meanwhile England had become the major exporter of corn in the world do to unaccountable fertilizing and the few knowledgeable people thanked Jeremy Inc. for its outstanding and unstoppable laxative...) The stutter was so bad that when Jeremy ordered his subordinates to nuke Africa they couldn't understand what he was saying and so ignored (as they ignored so many other orders for one reason or another) Jeremy's order. Derek, while he had existed outside of space and time, learned all that would happen in the world and then planned to halt such minor setbacks as were sure to occur. Creatively he decided to plan to voodoo for his revenge on this particular occasion and placed voodoo dolls of Jeremy with his embryo after it had landed on the moon. The embryo proceeded to thrash and (due to its upraising by aliens) grew to adult hood in only 3 days while retaining all knowledge of his previous life. The thrashing and primordial ooze of the embryo served to severely damage the voodoo doll, and Jeremy found himself suffering periodic spasms and frequent beatings. Other times he would awake in fear of the dreadful coming of The Derek, an inevitable occurrence he now knew. Jeremy, little more than a figurehead ruler, "ruled" the world for 3 years while Derek worked on his plan and his math homework. Brian on the other hand, was still frozen and the laxative kept right on working, mysteriously. The laxative kept Brian from being totally frozen and his body slowly adapted to the primitive condition he was forced to survive in. His skin tuned a pale pasty white and was hard and cold to the touch. The barrel cactus hat finally was absorbed into his body and replaced his hair. Brian could no longer withstand sunlight, noise, or sweet smells; let alone temperatures over -50 degrees Kelvin. A group of humanitarians decided to disobey jeremy's mandate (people disregarded him so much that they even stopped capitalizing his name) and save the beleaguered soul they thought was entrapped below their corn fields. Down they dug until they reached the door. At that point they all died from the unbearable stench, and Brian's emaciated corpse began to enter into convulsions from the increase in temperature (.0000000001 Kelvins). The hole was promptly filled in, and despite the revenue gained from the corn, cement was poured and reinforced with iron beams 200x60x20 to form a giant box with walls 4000 feet thick around Betsy Bayless's old mansion. Deadly viruses then were injected into the soil (where did the black plague come from?...) in order to prevent any living thing from ever coming out of that area. Ironically, all this happened without Jeremy's (who had now become obese and idiotic) or Derek's (who remained fit and attractive as ever) involvement. The proceeding expense bankrupted England and anarchy ensued. Jeremy traveled there because England has a long history of obese tyrants and he thought that he could perform that role with some minor difficulties. Derek then returned to the Earth and began training his next army, an army of mutant chimps. He descended into the Amazon rainforest and wasn't seen for thirty minutes (for you see, he was chased out by followers loyal to the Jeremy). He then decided to go to Southeast Asia and rally support there. Meanwhile in Central America, some aliens were busy constructing a city called Machu Pichu. (These aliens are not related to the ones blown up by Jeremy's rat bomb) While in their spaceship, they detected an odor that could not be compared with any other on the planet. The aliens flew to England and discovered the source of the smell. They believed it to be some sort of relic that the people of earth hailed because of its immense size. The Stinktronians, as they called themselves, well actually they called themselves asdfligrjikfeazuki;d3qqzbunt7b7jhu but no human could read it, used a powerful machine to see what was creating all of the smell. They discovered that a living entity was at the bottom of the structure and they naturally assumed it to be the world ruler. Using technology that not even Brian's supreme intellect could comprehend, the aliens encased him in a hyper-baric chamber that allowed no light to enter and kept the temperature regulated at a cool -50 degrees Kelvin. The aliens decided to take BRIAN (capitalizing his entire name for his significance) to their home planet of Stinktronia to research such a fine specimen and to have him teach them the ways of the Brian. They set out to their planet at near light speed and arrived faster than a Zeta-minus could say "uugghh", which really isn't that fast but you get the picture. They soon landed on Stinktronia and the populous welcomed BRIAN with open arms. BRIAN taught them his philosophy and they all readily accepted it. Soon all Stinktronians with the names of Jeremy and Derek were slaughtered and fed to the Uglantarians. It wasn't long before BRIAN obtained ultimate dominance and ruled for 20,000 stink years. To repay BRIAN for his wise Socratic rule, the aliens turned him back to his normal physical state. By raising the hyper-baric chamber's temperature and light intake extremely gradually, and over the 20,000 years he was able to live under normal conditions once again. In fact, the aliens had enabled him to withstand extremes in temperature, heat, light, and to be unaffected by any sort of product that derives from JeremyInc(R). Brian said that he needed to return to his home planet to take care of some "unfinished business". (The air quotes he used left a lasting impression on the Stinktronians, and they now use it to say hello and goodbye) The aliens reluctantly obliged and gave Brian a spaceship, a stink gun, and a pill that, when planted in the ground, will sprout into an impenetrable fortress contained within a force field and surrounded by a moat filled with lollypops. Brian returned to earth and was shocked at what he saw. Absolutely nothing had changed. He went up to a Britain and asked, "What year is it?" He responded," Why good old chap, it is exactly 5 minutes since the time you took than high speed lift up to the heavens, eh." Brian was very confused by this statement and decided to sort out his thoughts by taking a cruise. While he was on the deck tanning (for no purpose since the aliens had already given him a perfect tan) he saw Jeremy looking over the side of the deck. He decided to have some fun so he picked up the stink gun and shot Jeremy in the back with it. Jeremy fell over the side of the ship and as it sailed away, Brian was able to see Jeremy's lifeless body floating in the water with stink waves emanating from his body. However, it wasn't really Jeremy's body, you see, merely one of the millions of other computer generated characters integrated into the computer program, Zeta-Brian. The aliens had actually enslaved Brian and placed him into an Earth simulation computer program so he would not resist the Stinktronians while they learned the weaknesses of the human race. The aliens studied Brian's body day and night to learn the very complexities of humans. Meanwhile, Jeremy hired a team of Occupational Therapists, Physical Therapists, Speech Therapists, Athletic Trainers, and Exercise Specialists to help him overcome his stutter and obesity. Everyday, he completed three to four hours of therapeutic exercises until he was cured and properly fit. Now he was finally whole. He received a telegram from Derek that read, "Muah, ha ha, you suck! You better watch your back, or else I'll take you down faster than a Zeta-minus can grunt. From: Derek" However, due to Derek's horrible spelling, (which was due to his inferior intelligence) the telegram read, "Goats are inmates, ha ha, I'm stupid! I'm falling ditches to eight, I delship in gryphonite hocked mitt, Zeta-minuses are smarter than me. From: Derek" Jeremy thought this was rather funny. Jeremy then used some voodoo dolls of some of Derek's monkeys to make them steal the voodoo doll of Jeremy and bring it to him. Jeremy then made the monkeys put Derek's hand in warm water while he was sleeping every night so that he would wet the bed. Everyone then laughed at Derek, EVERYONE, and Derek's life fell into ruin because embarrassment. People were ashamed to be associated with Derek, and even his monkeys questioned his leadership. Jeremy then made a voodoo doll of Derek to use in his new experiment. Using data gathered in his previous experiments, Jeremy had constructed a machine that could generate a time paradox by turning a gold-plated hand crank. Jeremy threw the Derek doll into the machine and proceeded to turn the crank. A huge blast erupted from Jeremy's lab and a large scale earth-quake then began on the opposite side of the Earth (later evidence shows that the earthquake was not an effect from the time paradox.) However, due to the time paradox, all evidence of Derek's existence outside of space and time was erased. Derek also developed a constant eye twitch and a huge zit on the right side of his forehead that never really went away. Jeremy, however, benefited greatly from the paradox, he received a second thumb on each hand which allowed to win video games much easier. Because no one was ruling the world, strange people started to create their own empires, claiming that all people should have the same opportunities and conditions. They called themselves communists. Jeremy allowed then to exist under his nose while he continued to learn about alchemy. Jeremy finally perfected his elixir of life allowing him to be immortalized. Jeremy also nuked Africa himself, for rats were far to incompetent to handle plutonium. Finally, the day came. The Stinktronians returned to conquer the Earth and fired their anti-human bomb into our planet. However, since they had been studying Brian, they had completely miscreated their bomb. Brian was a subspecies of human and their bomb was useless against the humans on Earth. However, it did leave quite a smell and Jeremy used his scientific knowledge to rid the Earth of the smell. He created a team of Peruvian Llamas to run in a maniacal manner all around the Earth. Each llama was equipped with four small bathroom air fresheners. This was done until the stench was gone. Jeremy was once again hailed as a hero and was elected by the free will of the people. They called that day, the Celebration of the Peruvian Llamas. Brian was on a strange planet locked into a computer program, Derek was hiding in shame beneath a rock near his house, and Jeremy once again ruled (much to the liking of the people) for ten glorious years.

End of Chronicle VI