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I immediately recognized the Brian on the left to be Bryan, Brian's semi-powerful and effeminate look-alike. I gave the order for my troops to close in on the real Brian on the right. Bryan took off and my troops started to pursue, but I ordered them to halt, "Let him go, he is not what we came for." Brian, feeling the mayonnaise start to slowly cover his body, pled for his pathetic life. Suddenly Bryan returned, and, with a mighty and graceful movement, hurled a loaf of bread into the hands of the mayo covered Brian. I was able to make out the label on that bread as it sailed in a blurry slow-motion. It read, "Bread of Brian: Made with real cactus pulp". "Noooooooo!!!" I screamed, but it was too late. Brian quickly unwrapped the bread and started consuming mayo sandwiches by the hundreds. I watched in horror as my mayo legions were reduced to nothing more than a few insubordinate puddles. Brian, now wiping his face off with the last piece of bread merely smiled at me until he spoke, "I have a job for you Ben, a very wonderful job."

Because of your failure to properly command a legion of mayo, you will spend the remainder of your pathetic life fulfilling a "wonderful job" at the Gulag II. Do to your feministic behaviors, you will be required to watch every tween movie that every graces the big screen for eternity. Ewwwww!

THE END