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I awoke to the not-so-gentle slapping of a gelatinous hand. "YES. IT IS I, MAYO WARRIOR NUMBER FIVE. AND I HAVE A MESSAG-" Mayo warrior number five finished his sentence, but no sound came out of his ill-defined lips. Glancing around I saw that I was in a cavernous hall lit by an eerie yellow-green torch light. And, at the end of the hall, sat THE MAYO THRONE. (Incidentally on top of THE MAYO THRONE I saw the pathetic husk of what must be Jeremy; he seemed to be holding a giant remote of some kind...)

Hesitantly, I climbed to you feet and stood in awe of the giant MINIONS OF MAYO that lined the walls. If I could control such fearsome beasts the world would surely fall into my outstretched hand. Suddenly, the corpulent freak who sat upon THE MAYO THRONE spoke, "BEN. YOU WISH TO CONTROL MY MAYO MINIONS. AND, I AM CURENTLY INCLINED TO GRANT YOU YOUR REQUEST."

My heart began to beat furiously as I realized the power I was being offered. Surely Jeremy wished to make me a lieutenant of some kind. It will not be long before I have his trust, and his head.

Eagerly I listened to Jeremies demands, and eagerly I acquiesced to them all. Hours later, when one of Jeremies minions brought me the contract I was to sign in my new quarters, I didn't even think to question WHY Jeremy would want to make an alliance with me, or WHY the contract was hundreds of pages longer than the original.

Three hours later, marching from the throne room with a legion of MAYO WARRIORS (numbers 132987-142988) I was amazed by the wonderful prospects of the bright future that awaited me.