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What were these gerbils?, where did they come from?, and what was their normal diet on Tuesday evenings? These questions raced through my mind as darkness closed in around me. Just as I could feel the spirit being separated from my body, I saw a light. It was glorious. I started to walk towards it when I heard a voice... "We interrupt you're death to bring you a message about gerbils." Suddenly, millions of TV screens appeared around me and started playing a commercial.

[Music Begins]

"Gerbils are special, they live big caves.
They make these caves with the help of Big Dave.
They get so hungry with stomachs of kings,
So Dave brings them sushi on Tuesday Evenings."

[The song ends with an instrumental
reprise of the last line and a big "Yeah!"]

With all my questions answered, I felt that my soul could be at peace, but now the light and the TVs were gone. What stood before me now were two large oaken doors with ivory doornobs in the shape of gerbils. The doors were marked with the cryptic symbols "D" "T" and "A" written in an upside-down triangle. Perplexing it was indeed. What should I do?