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In a heroic fashion I dived backwards, grabbed the backpack, and was brutally and repeatedly shot. The force of the bullets knocked me out the door and into the open air. As I was rapidly falling towards the rocky ground I realized that I was not dead from the gun wounds. In fact, there were no gun wounds. The bullets had been stopped by the backpack. I opened the backpack to see what was in it, but this was of course futile because all the objects immediatly fell out into the sky. Once I thought all hope was gone, I saw an amulet caught on the zipper of the backpack. I grabbed it just before it to flew off into the abyss, and read the words inscribed on the back: "Don't say 'Nerk!'" Just then I realized that I was reading it aloud. Just then I realized that I had already said "Nerk!" when it clearly instructed me not to. Just then I realized that I was only about 50 feet from the ground! Suddenly, however, I was in a sail boat in the atlantic ocean.