Due to the popularity of The Scroll, Derek's agent advised the three rivals to pool their money together and create a side business. The Scroll, Inc. is proud to present several items for sale to all fans and worshipers of The Scroll. If you order in the next 20 minutes, we will personally autograph each item you purchase.

ONLY $4,499.99

The Scroll Official T-Shirt -      This T-Shirt with it's catchy motto, "Hail The Scroll, or else..." represents all that The Scroll stands for in only a few words. With it you can share your love of The Scroll with your friends and aquaintances. It's comfortable, stylish, and 100 percent pre-shrunk cotton. Comes in sizes MICROSCOPIC, RATSIZE, XXXSMALL, XXSMALL, XSMALL, SMALL, MEDIUM, LARGE, XLARGE, XXLARGE, XXXLARGE, FATSO, GARGANTUAN, and MACROSCOPIC

ONLY $127,999.99

The Scroll Official Radioactive Mayonnaise -      Perfectly designed for maximum taste, this will increase your sandwiches flavor by 42%, and it can also be used in place of other common household items such as: glue, paint, paper, television remote, baby powder, milk, telephone, glasses, and tissue. Comes in quart, gallon, 5 gallon, 10 gallon, 25 gallon, or 15,000 gallon jars.

ONLY $5A8.97 A = Math.random()*364

The Scroll Official Baseball Cap -      Sporting the everso illustrious motto, "Hail The Scroll," The Scroll Official Baseball Cap is a perfect edition to any person, place, or thing's wardrobe. It truly captures the essence of The Scroll's philosophical dogmas. Many have referred to this Baseball Cap as a "Thinking Cap," but others merely refer to it as a "Hat." Utilized correctly, however, it can be used to achieve maximum cognitive processes and delve into the innermost depths of human thought capacities. Jeremy, the president of JeremyInc®, did not need them because his intellect is far beyond that of normal humans. He was willing to allow them to be sold on The Scroll website as a favor to himself, he also being the creator of the website. For convenience and the purpose of cheap and efficient labor, the baseball caps were created in a one-size-fits-all* fashion. (*One-size-fits-all not referring to derek-size or brian-size.)