Here at The Scroll, Inc., we strive to bring you the most updated information of The Scroll and all its splendor. The Scroll, Inc. was founded in the late 700's to protect and care for The Scroll, and all of its patents, copyrights, trademarks, property, belongings, components, elements, and history. Our goal is to proclaim the wonders of The Scroll throughout the world... so the people of the world will know who is ruling them, and can worship their rulers accordingly. We have been able to exert power for the last 13 centuries through the implementation of our large team of highly intelligent lawyers and highly muscular hitmen. We also donate some of our excess profits to Derek, Jeremy, and Brian for specific, but semi-legal, favors. Overall, The Scroll, Inc. can best be described by love. Not the "compassionate" or "romantic" kind of love, but the "superficial, stab-you-in-the-back for your own good" kind of love. We at The Scroll, Inc. invite you to read The Scroll and partake of its infinite wisdom.
One may ask the question, "What is The Scroll?". One should receive evil glares for asking a question as infintely unintelligent as this. However, if one still needs an explanation, fear not. The Scroll is the sacred writings explaining the history of Derek, Jeremy, and Brian that has been handed down through generations of scribes. The Scroll, Inc. has made it possible through this website for all people to be able to read The Scroll in its entirety. Now feast your underprivileged brain upon these writings.