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"Derekism" and "The Derek"

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Derekism:
The supreme belief in the abilities of the Great, Good, and Glorious Derek to Rule the world better than anyone else.

The Derecian Cult:
A cult of over-zealous supporters of the Derek who follow and extreme from of Derekism. These highly trained and fervent followers of The Derek have long been his left hand men (who have always been rather jealous of the right hand chimps...The SPAWN OF BOBO) and are always ready to do as their master commands, weather it be in staging a revolt, riot, or political assassination.

The Derek:
The one, the only, THE DEREK. No more needs be said of this highly intelligent and capable ruler.

The Spawn of BoBo:
Mutant chimps who are fiercely loyal to The Derek. Their numbers are in the millions and are such excellent soldiers that they are allowed to wear, ride, and eat cactuses at their leisure.


A Brief History:

It was a dark time in the worlds history; Brian the Tyrant ruled (or more appropriately misruled) the world. His mentally deficient (and therefore loyal) legions of zeta-minuses had recently crushed the forces of the last alliance of Democracy under their diminutive (though numerous) heals. The numerous acts of cruelty committed in this dark time do not bear repeating, although I emphasize the word numerous.

Jeremy had retreated to Hawaii to delve into his lost sciences. Having mastered alchemy, Jeremy's fiendish mind had devised a dark and sinister plot to enforce his will upon the masses of humanity (a plot which had unfortunately long design and implementation phases).

Only Derek was left to prevent the Brainish Scourge from ravishing the world through his mismanagement. Back in those days, Derek was already a power hungry freak who yearned for the day when the world was his to command. But under the evil scourge of the tyrant Brian, and through the absence of Jeremy, the people flocked to his banner; espousing the causes of dominion, unjust taxation, and a huge military.

It wasn't long before that evil tyrant Brian learned of the shift in public opinion, and he attempted to brutally crush the insurgents before the seeds of rebellion could be sewn. He was too late. Warned of the upcoming onslaught by the mumbling of the zeta-minuses, Brian managed to escape with his most loyal followers. Little did he know that his own grievous misrule had long since destroyed any chance he had of remaining in power.

It is rumored that Jeremy heard of these events in his secret base hidden upon the islands of Hawaii, and an unreliable source is heard to have heard Jeremy laugh maniacally at the news and latter proclaim how soon all of Derek's and Brain's political machinations would came to nothing.

Meanwhile, Derek gathered supporters in ever greater numbers and he was so revered by them that he became The Derek. They christened their new belief Derekism, and the most zealous supporters became the Derecian Cult. And at that moment, an Empire was Born.


* an outline of future events can be found in the scroll

** This Extremely Biased History was made possible and is copyrighted by DerekLabs®

*** If you wish to become a member of the Derecian Cult, learn more about Derekism, worship The Derek, become a follower of The Derek, or become food for the Spawn of BoBo, simply send and email to dukeaelric@hotmail.com with a subject heading of "Mu ha ha ha!"


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