On the second day of the fifth month of each and every year, Derek, Jeremy, Brian, and the world's populous come together to rejoice and celebrate one of the most revered holidays known in the universe. This holiday is known by the name of "The Celebration of the Peruvian Llamas". But what is this holiday? Where did it come from? How do people celebrate? The answers can be found written in the sacred confines of The Scroll. This article attempts to point out the crucial details involved with this holiday and to explain to the reader of their utmost importance.

Many people have asked, "What is the Celebration of the Peruvian Llamas?" These people have either been removed from the Earth or have been "reeducated". Everyone else knows that the Celebration of the Peruvian Llamas is celebrating the anniversary of The Scroll. This celebration occurs on May second of each year. It is a time where families everywhere and supporters of The Scroll can gather to worship and celebrate the great, good, and gloriousness of The Scroll, its heroes, and its paraphernalia.

The Celebration of the Peruvian Llamas comes from proud and tradition-filled beginnings. The holiday comes from the ancient text of The Scroll itself. This is held evident when it is written, "Here on this date of the second day of the fifth month in the second year of this great, great new millennium inside of the town named after our great leader Brian (who has just been sacked) we have begun the celebration of the Peruvian Llamas" (The Scroll 1:01-03). But the holiday is mentioned more than once; it is mentioned not once, not twice, but two-and-three-quarter times. Towards the end... umm... beginning of The Scroll it is written, "it is almost time for the Celebration of the Peruvian Llamas on this second day of the fifth month of the second year of our great new millennium" (The Scroll 7:14). It is later, after the discovery of The Scroll Chronicles that we find out some of its ancient beginnings. The first celebration of the Peruvian Llamas took place during the era of Chronicle V, in which Jeremy rid the world of a wicked stench brought to Earth by aliens, by driving a team of Peruvian Llamas, each equipped with four bathroom air fresheners, around the Earth until the stench was eliminated.

The celebrations involved with this holiday are as time-honored as they are strange. People are encouraged to exchanged gifts of malice disguised as gifts of friendship. This way people are able to rid themselves of their enemies and have more things to celebrate about. People must wear clothes reflecting the holiday and nature of The Scroll (You can purchase official Scroll clothes at The Scroll Online Store). Carrying signs and items reflecting one's favorite hero from The Scroll (probably Jeremy) is encouraged as well as carrying a chosen item of one's own. One must speak in a condescending manner to others unless addressing Derek, Jeremy, or Brian. Upon speaking to one of these people, one must address them with titles of nobility and marvel at their wonderful accomplishments. There shall be no cactuses uprooted, no rats exterminated, no monkeys launched into outer space, and no llamas ridden in "pet the animal" zoos on this day. These shall be punishable by exile or deportation. There shall also be a mandatory reading of The Scroll in every possible opportunity. By following these guidelines and keeping the motto "Hail The Scroll" in one's mind, the holiday should be celebrated correctly, successfully, and efficiently.

And thus we see that The Celebration of the Peruvian Llamas is one of the most important and enjoyable holidays of the year. There are costumes, presents, seasonal spirit, family orientation, friendly gatherings, reading, and remembering all involved. It has all the attributes of the best holidays packed into one great, good, and glorious holiday. Remember to Hail The Scroll!